I answered the phone as usual…. ” Good Morning, Home Complete, David speaking, how may I help you?”
A ladies voice came back…..” erm….well….you may think I’m strange, and I feel stupid saying this, but I think I have a crop circle in my lawn……like a lawn circle……you know?”
My first thought was maybe that this was one of my wife’s friends having a joke at my expense, but I didn’t recognise the phone number and the lady sounded quite sincere.
I asked the lady to explain exactly what she meant and I got the following answer ” Well, I have been away for a week and when I came home it was dark, but the next morning in the light of the day I noticed these strange shapes in the lawn……”
My brain starts working, slowly but surely trying to think of a reasonable explanation for this… It must be a fairy ring , I tell myself,caused by fungus especially at this time of year and very treatable. So I described to the lady what a fairy ring looked like and she assured me that was not what it was.
” The best thing I can do is to pop over and have a look at this odd phenomena I suggested. ” Brilliant” she said.
I arranged to go along later that day and was intrigued to think that Barnes may have had its very own paranormal activity…..
I arrived later that day, trying to hide my excitement at seeing something as novel as a crop/lawn circle….
” Well is not quite a circle she said, its not really any shape at all….” even odder I thought.
So out we went to the back garden and it didn’t take me long to have my bubble burst…. I thought she was going to cry with embarresment when I told her what I thought it was.
You will never guess, but I have seen this more than once.
I asked her ” When you were away did you have any workmen in at all?”
” Yes, that’s why we went away to get out from all the stress of having building work done”
“Did they replace the windows by any chance?”
” Yes” she answered slowly “But what does that have to do with this strange shape on my lawn……?”
“Was the grass quite long when you went away and have the contractors cut it before came back from your holiday?”
“I think that like most contractors they have taken the old windows out and put them on the lawn to keep them out out the way,the sun has been very strong this week and the glass, laid on top of each other had magnified the sun and burnt the grass, I would imagine they had the glass piled up for a week or so maybe.”
” Once they moved the windows, they realised that the lawn was burnt and have cut the grass to remedy the situation,which has distorted the shape of it and flattened it….” by this point I felt like Sherlock Holmes, the newer cooler one who goes everywhere in a Black Cab on BBC a few months ago.
She rang the contractor whilst I was there and asked if this was the case, they reluctantly admitted it and then immediately offered to pay to get it put right. Incidentally, the contractors quality of workmanship on the house was outstanding.
Now, I don’t charge for call outs to look at things like that, its not fair on people, I obviously left her with a quote to fix it , which she has forwarded to the builders. But she did offer me a lovely bottle of wine and apologised for the Crop Circle theory.
No apology necessary, and I’m looking forward to a glass of the wine tonight….